37. Roger Waldron
Razzamatazz, throwaway poetry, and an aversion to slip on shoes.
Roger Waldron lives on the edge of Razzmatazz, which in reality is north Sheffield
His poetry is what has been called “throw away” and at open mic spots that’s exactly what he’ll do . His pamphlet “My C&A Years” published by Dreich was well received.
He’s had a few poems published. He’s had a few poems rejected. He’s proud that he’s never worn slip on shoes…knowingly
Poems
A Day in the Life of a Pipe Smoker It’s Nisa When it’s Local A Day in the Life of a Man About Town The Domestic Life of an OrnithologistBirdwatcher A Bear Dances the Watusi It’s a Kind of 21st Century Blues Poem - informs the Open Mic Poet in a Puff of Blue Smoke
A Day in the Life of a Pipe Smoker
I’m late for a meeting with my tobacconist he wants to talk to me about smoking too wet in his opinion I am creating too much moisture and he thinks he knows the answer to my problem he’s happy at this moment in time not to inform the authorities he suspects my ex wife will have had her suspicions he also knows it’s a trying time for us all he says if I must talk about my situation best to keep it to close family and my small circle of friends <<<
It’s Nisa When it’s Local
when you texted me saying lover boy was on his way round to collect the rest of your stuff I slipped out to Nisa to get a few more cans and a cheap bottle of sherry and hoped he was an half decent bloke to stay and have a bit of banter I’ll probably mention about the time you had sex with my mate in the back of his Ups van and I might tell him about the knit and natter group you took me to where you introduced me as the quiet one <<<
A Day in the Life of a Man About Town
I’m wearing the shorts I got from Cotton Traders they are a nice cerise pink I pair them with a plum coloured T-shirt I bought online women of a certain age are sitting up and beginning to taking notice as I purchase a vegan sausage roll and pay with contactless I feel now I’m a man about town as I unchain my e-bike and check my tyres and finger the saddle hoping it doesn’t play havoc with my haemorrhoids <<<
The Domestic Life of a Ornithologist Birdwatcher
my mate Kevin has taken to birdwatching since his wife passed away he says he likes the solitude coupled with birdsong it’s useful to teach yourself new skills he says he’s taken to ironing really well his favourite to iron are pillow cases and he’s no longer afraid of shirts he says if I like I can take some round to his on a Tuesday It’s the only day he doesn’t go birding <<<
A Bear Dances the Watusi
to tell you the truth there was nobody more surprised than me when I took up with that dance teacher she said she could sort out my feet and that was one of the best chat up lines anyone had ever used on me it was winter and there was nothing much else to do but learn how to dance by the time spring came I was still looking at my feet when she met a bear of a man who could dance the Watusi without giving me a second glance <<<
It’s a Kind of 21st Century Blues Poem - Informs the Open Mic Poet in a Puff of Blue Smoke
I tap you on the shoulder and blow blue smoke in your face I tell you my career choice is being pig ignorant that makes you smile pulling on a clock it’s time to go leave all this fun behind you follow me through a situation that this poet know best and I tell you I’d kick an empty coke can down a whispering song for you filmed in black and white knowing we’ve just got to keep out of the blue haze <<<